Things to do at 3 in the morning, when you can’t sleep anymore because your drunk finish housemate woke you up…

1. Keep your boyfriend from sleeping.
2. Play a funky melody with your hands on your tummy.
3. Stare at the wall.
4. Stare at the ceiling.
5. Pretend to be a pirate.
6. Pretend to be Gollum.
7. Thinking about various ways to kill people… (thoughts include a finnish housemate, a sword and south London)
8. Wonder whether you’re going to fall asleep on your job interview the next day.
9. Think about a list called: “What to do at 3.30 in the morning, after you’ve been awake for half an hour because your drunk finish housemate woke you.”